The Cupcake story

     I did not start off as Poly. I found out at 17 that I was pregnant with Goat-girl. I had her at 18 and moved back to my hometown where I met my husband. We got married and I had a little boy. Three years later I was very unhappy in my marriage and decided to end it. My daughter stayed with me, my son with him.

     
     I started in on rebuilding my life. I dated but nothing really came from it. Then I met someone off a site I was on and we hit it off. He told me he also had a girl friend, she is married,poly, and she was OK with him dating other people. At first I was very shocked that people live like this, coming from a very small town you didn't hear of things like this and if you did it was frowned upon. I told him I would have to think about this and if I wanted to move any farther with our relationship. I thought over all this new information for about a week when I had a small light go off. This could work, I mean why not, everyone knows everyone they are open with who they see and how they feel about each other. We started dating and were together for a little while when things started to change. I was introduced to everyone in the house (the girlfriend, her husband, and his girlfriend). I quickly found where I stood in the house and did not like it at all. I was treated like a secondary person, kinda like a cat that isn't wanted but you pet it every once in a while, I felt ignored and just unwanted. But against better judgment I didn't say anything, I kept it to myself, that maybe I was just over thinking thing that it was just me. During this time I was in a chat room that I appropriately named "The meat market" and started talking to a very nice guy. Jack and I were very close right from the start, we talked every day, he became my best friend. I talked with Jack about the issues I was having. And like an amazing friend he listened and was there for me.

     
     As we talked we got closer. A day didn't go by that I didn't talk to him or at least send a email to him. Soon I knew I wanted to be more than just friends with him, and come to find out so did he. So we made plans for me to visit in February.

     
     Fast forward about four months (January) and my life crashes, I lost my jobs, I didn't know where I was going to live, and was stressed out the max. I called my boyfriend and told him what was going on and that I really needed him, I understood that he was with “her” but I needed him and if I could stay with him for two weeks till I got my last check and I would work something out. Well, in the end he choose her and told me no me and my daughter can not stay with him and hung up the phone. In a panic I called Jack asking “What do I do?”. He's answer was simple. “Move here.” he says. I'm thinking he is crazy, there is no way I can moved out of state, into a mans house, whom I had never met. No way. I told him I needed to think about it, so he gave me time. I talked with my best friend in the world who is like an other mother to me, and she basically told me I was crazy not to do it, if he loved me that much to drop everything and move then I was very lucky to have someone that cares that much.

     
     A little while later that evening I received a message from Lily, about me moving. She and I had talked before but normally as a “Hi I'm in the background and hear you” type thing, so I was a tad shocked to have a message directly from her. The thing that touched me the most in the message was this. “You and Goat-girl would be like family, not just roomies. Know that we would not be making this offer if we didn't think it would work.” I sat and stared at the message for a long time. I was very scared that I would be treated the same, the pitiful cat in the corner (even though Lily was much more welcoming than “She” had ever been). What if I get there and these people are crazy? And I don't mean the funny “Haha” crazy, because lets face it not all of use are completely sane, but like scary holy crap crazy and I was now stuck out of state with crazy psycho people. By the time I got the these thoughts I was so emotionally drained I couldn't take it any more, I passed out. When I woke up the next morning I had my answer.

     
     So I called Jack and said OK lets move me. Well for the next three day I swore up and down that Jack would bail on me that no way was he going to show up. Well sure enough here he came. I couldn't believe it he was here, flesh and blood, right in front of me. I had never been as happy to see an other person as I was in that moment.

     
     After a very long car ride and one very over tired child later we pull up to the house. I didn't know what to think or say. I still had this feeling of this is too good to be true, and looked up over me to see if I could find that shoe that likes to slam into my life and leave a huge foot print.

    
     I was kind of in a daze for the first few days, shock had set in and I couldn't believe what I had done. I had moved my daughter and myself to a different state, into the house of someone I had never met, and everything is Okay. The world wasn't on fire, no huge disasters, they didn't turn into crazy scary people. Everything was going great, then my mother happened. One week to the day that I had moved my mother lost her mind and wanted me to come home. So after a huge fight and craziness I made it clear I wasn't leaving. I knew that this could be my home, this was my family. Yes I “barely” knew them but whatever, they had already done so much for me and I didn't want to leave.

Compared to the people I lived with and the things I had been though I was still very worried that this would not be this good forever. I swore up and down the shoe would drop anytime and that I didn't deserve to be treated this well. I had become too comfortable with being treated as a second or a lesser person. I quickly found that this was not the case with Jack or Lily. I found out that I had a voice and they cared very much to hear what I had to say. I had no clue how to understand this, in the past when I would speak no one would hear me and I had just come to expect this.

     I also had a very hard time trusting anyone or letting anyone get close to me. This held true even after I had been with Jack for 6 months or more, I held many things close to my heart and wouldn't let him see that part of me. I was very scared of letting him in and being completely open, I didn't want to get hurt again. Jack was very sweet, slow and didn't try to pry me open by force. Slowly as time went by I opened little by little.

It seems like all I did was blink and it had been a year, I had grown so much, my family had grown, and I couldn't see me ever being somewhere else. I had found a man I could be completely open with, a “Sister” I could talk to, most of all I had found friends. True friends, a family, people who want me to be the best person I can be.

     This October was a very big day for Jack and I. I have always had I fear that I would be replaced one day, that he would find someone else who was a better fit than me (now I am starting to see this is an insane way to view things). I'm not sure who came up with the idea it was something we had bounce back and forth but I didn't see anything coming of it. We decided that we wanted to have a handfasting ceremony (a historical term for "betrothal" or "wedding"). I was a little shocked when he asked me if I wanted to do this (enough to stop mid bite of a cupcake which I never do). I just kind of stared at him, mouth hanging open like a stunned fish thinking holy crap this man wants me around forever, yep I was right - he IS crazy.

     After regaining control over my motor functions I was able to close my mouth but couldn't answer in any words other than “uh”. We talked for a long time that day and I said yes I would love that. So the months of planning started, and I seems like no more did I say yes the day was here and I was unbelievably nervous. It was beautiful and perfect and touched me so deeply. To have my family there and friends of ours to spend this moment with us, well its a moment I will never forget.

     Here I am I cant wait to see what lays ahead for me I hope everyone keeps reading and follows us on our adventurers.